Diary Of A failure
by danmol
Summary: This is Bella's Diary at 15 when she screws up everything,she is always getting into embarrassing moments.She is scared of becoming older and meeting a lad who she likes and messing up infront of him,will she ever overcome her fears,and luck?PLEASE READ!


**Heyy Fanfictioners! This is our fourth story for Twilight...we hope you like it, and please review ^_^ Thanks. **

**June 8****th**

Dear Diary...

I'm new at this, writing all my feelings in a book, it's strange to be honest, but this is a way to keep them locked up tight and they can't break free, the thing is, I always keep my thoughts to myself, I don't have many friends you see, always been invisible, I know...sad right. I can't share my feelings, worries and embarrassing moments, so they can't just play around in my head, and it's annoying, trust me on that, but a Diary... it could keep all my secrets, and couldn't tell anyone, so I thought I would give it a try. Oh, and another reason would be that people thought I was weird when I talked to my dog so much telling him everything, the weird thing was that I actually thought he understood me... So Diary you in for a long story, of my fail's and achievements in life *If there is any achievements that is*. Oh... and I almost forgot, I'm Bella Swan and I'm 15 nearly 16, and I mess everything up, basically clumsy is my middle name, So that's my introduction about me. ^_^

**June 9****th**

Dear Diary...

I went to school today, well that's nothing new is it, but I made a total fool of myself...which again is nothing new. As per usual I was the one that was laughed at in the hallway and the gossip of the day. To be honest I'm getting used to it now. Every day is the same, with the same old routine... the same old me, but today it was different, Much more embarrassing than usual. Wanna know why..? Of course you do Diary. I don't really know where to begin. Today was eventful. One more embarrassing thing after another, let's face it today was just not my best day, not like I have best days. But today I had that feeling you sometimes get when you're embarrassed, the one where you want the world to swallow you up, I'll let you know in advance, it's not a good feeling. I was taking my time as to not to slip, spillages don't help the uncoordinated, when I walked past the hottest guy in the whole school. He looked up and smiled, most probably out of courtesy, but why would someone like him smile at someone like me. I just thought to myself, breath and carried on walking. However, I had only taken one step further and I didn't notice the half eaten sandwich left lying on the floor. Of course being me... I went flying, sending my food everywhere. Most of it landed on the hot guy and his friend and me of course. Bad luck or what? that's not the worst of it, after landing on the floor, I tried to regain at least some of my dignity, I stood up to apologise to the poor guy, but some idiot pushed into me, knocking me over once more, but this time I headed in the direction of the boy that was now covered in my lunch. it gets worse I landed in his lap, with a face the colour of beetroot, he didn't look too impressed now that he was covered in his food too, clumsily, when I fell I stuck my elbow out, hitting his tray splattering his food in his face. I couldn't stand the embarrassment; I ran out the cafeteria and nearly slipped on my arse again, and sat on a wall for the rest of dinner.

**June 10****th**

Dear Diary...

Today I had to face up to school again, I wasn't in to good of a mood, not only the embarrassment of yesterday, which I would love to forget, but as said before, they play on my mind. It's like a Friggin tape recorder on repeat. I had a restless night's sleep last night, so when it came to getting up, I had massive bags under my eyes, not a pretty site I tell you that Diary. I could have scared a blind man...I was that scary. So I put make-up on to cover it, but me being me, ended up spilling it all down my shirt, not realising, and then went to school, everyone pointed and laughed at me...again. When I finally realised I ran to the toilet and tried to clean it up the best I could...using soapy water and paper towels, didn't work so well, ended up with bits of blue paper towel entwined with my new jumper! Made it look worse, in the end the stain never came out, and I made it more noticeable with bits of blue smeared all over the mark, ended up walking around the school with a coat on...even though it was boiling in there... which made problem 3. Big Nasty smelly sweat patches! I had P.E next, I think you can guess what happened, I was called smelly bags for the rest of the day. Does my luck ever get better then this? Probably not, so Diary, I'm going to try my best and not mess up tomorrow, I don't know maybe there will be some sort of miracle.

**June 11****th**

Dear Diary...

No Miracle today, unless you count not making a fool of myself a miracle. It has been a pretty boring day today, went school and kept my head down and avoided any eye contact what so ever with people. I'm feeling really scared lately Diary...I know it's stupid, but I keep messing up, two days in a row now, what else will come along? Okay I admit today wasn't that bad...from the occasional trip now and then, but anyways, I'm scared I'm going to meet a boy and then end up doing something really embarrassing, or being stupid, and then he doesn't want to talk to me ever again. Do you get me? I feel useless, and I hope tomorrow that something actually good will happen. :/

**June 12****th**

Dear Diary...

I think my luck is about to change...you see, I haven't done anything embarrassing today, I know surprising right. I been at the library all day today, studying for a Spanish test, I'm really worried. I don't actually listen, I day dream and talk...mainly to myself, I guess it's better than talking to a dog though. But we have a test...and I have to revise a lot... and learn it in 3 hours... a full books worth. I'm going to fail. Badly. Sometimes, I wonder how the hell it sticks in everyone's brain! My mind is like lightening if you ask me, one flash...and then it's gone. No lie. That's what it is like.

**June 13****th**

Dear Diary...

I was wrong, again... something embarrassing, my luck ran out, it was nice for two days. Well, during my Spanish test I got really nervous, and when I get really nervous... I don't only sweat like an animal...but I belch like a builder. I'm not talking little cute girly ones...no way; I'm talking big loud smelly manly ones. I'll paint you a picture. All the classroom is very quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop, no talking, just the sound of the busy pencils, and then you get the random outburst of a nervous burp. Every one laughs, but tries to hide it...even the teacher. Yeah, it was exactly like that, But the teacher is a bitch if you ask me, she threw me out saying I was disturbing the class... and then ripped my paper up! My parents are going to kill me. On the bright side, I got to stare at a greedy teacher scoff her face with cake for 45 minutes, while everyone else did their test. I know 45 Minutes, I couldn't believe it either.

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